5th day: ah mah's burial

Sorry larh I know I've been really EMO these days. Little that I knew that even my Bodyshop makeup kits couldn't mask my mixed-emotions for Ah Mah, as shown by the pictures during our graduation ball, about 4 days ago.

(celaka punya Wai Meng)
Wai Meng: Dear, yea you look pretty in the red dress. But I can see that you look like you're very sad and tired, and you look like something is missing as compared to your other friends oh...

Phuay Fhern: Yeah larh, WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM ME?? My Ah Mah passed away one day before Graduation Ball ok???!!! Haiyah I should have just cut and paste my whole face.

Today is her burial day, and should be my last vegetarian day. I dare not call home as I should be expecting lots of break-downs on hearing my voice. So, I choose to call only on tomorrow, where the reality would have sunk in by then. By tomorrow, Ah Mah would be physically gone from our family, for good. By tomorrow, our Muar house will never feel the same again.

On a typical morning when we're back in Muar, our morning would be awaken by the aroma of both the brewed local-coffee (Aik Seng) and Ah Mah's fried rice, which permeates the entire house. Ah Mah will then nag me for using the tap-water as if my dad owns Indah-Water.

Ah Mah (in hokkien): Haiyoh, close the tap larh when you're brushing teeth. Open the tap later only later when you need it.

Ah Mah would also religiously patronise an old family bakery behind our house which produces good, soft and THICK (ask Gardenia to fly-kite larh!) white-loafs. I remember Daddie claiming that no one does fried-rice like Ah Mah, which will routinely be followed by a glaring stare by Mommie. As for me, no one does meals like Ah Mah. Family times in Muar is always heart-warming. I was so into our family warmth that I asked Ah Mah which brand of rice she used, such that I tend to eat so much whenever I'm back in Muar. Yet even when my family uses the same brand of rice in Kuala Lumpur, there was something missing in the taste of our dinners. Could it be the water? Could it be the smaller rice-cooker that we're using?

I finally found the answer. It was the family kinship that is exceptionally strong especially everyone is back for gathering in Muar.

I miss you Ah Mah. I really Do. You should be already buried beside Ah Gong now. I'm still praying for you. Today, I'll let go of my mourning for you as I know you're now in a better place, and I continue praying for your safe journey.

I love you, always.