Friday 27 June 2008

Dad, Mom, Boy I miss you!

Can't wait can't wait can't wait!!

I can't wait to see you all again tomorrow in Heathrow. Mwah mwah mwah.

I don't have a good picture of my family larh!! Some how it was difficult to find one where ALL four of us look nice in it. Don't believe?

Reject!!: CNY 2007: I look like I'm wearing a wig in this picture.

Reject!!: Ah Boy closed his single eyelid "petite" eyes, which he claimed that it's more prone to appearing "closed" at any point of a time.

Perhaps my X1 blink is equivalent to his 1.5 blinks. I'm evil! I'm evil!

Reject!!: Some random pic larh! It looks as if Me and Daddie have peed across the stairs

For this reason, we shall take lots and lotssss of pictures in London, Edinburgh and Glasgow. Kaka. Can't wait can't wait! I'll take lots of POLO mint along too. Wanna smell fresh after the 10hr megabus trip. *dopamine receptor already responding at the thought of the journey*

And the good news is that I won't need to put eye make-up. Tonight I'll be going out with juniors to any bars around. So sure will have naturally smoky and puffy eyes. Who needs M.A.C. and Bodyshop and Lancome and Dior? hmp! I'm such an extreme Panglossian. brrrrrrr.....

I'll see you in Terminal 3!!

This is my bro:

Miss you Bro: This is my bro in one of his many retarded acts.

Perhaps I'll be smarter if only I had Soke Teng or Chuey Ee growing up with me? Whatever it is, I love him lots! I miss being a complete retard with him larh... Faster come faster come. Anyways, sorry Bro for spoiling your "market" like this. mwahhhh (hypocracy to the max)

Such sweet picture of Daddie and Mommie.

Till we meet again tomorrow, at 9pm! I love you all lots!

Sunday 22 June 2008

What was i THINKING?

Yeah I know I'm a pharmacy graduate and has gracefully (I know I know...) upheld the Law family-name and expectations; Yeah I know I've been succesfully striking a balance (I know I know...) between playing-aimlessly and studying high technical pharmacy-related syllabus; Yeah I know I've been brought up to be kind (I know!) and modest (I also know); And I too know that I'm active in sports and at the same time is not nerdy;

Oh I'm such a wonder person..

How can a person described as above, actually did what I did yesterday night? I guess it's bad enough that if this was to be in Malaysia or during the ancient-China days, I would be executed for protrayal to the general public. This will be the time where the auntie and uncles tell their daughters to not repeat after me.

Yes yes... I brought a stranger guy home for the night.


Wait wait wait!! It was as bad as it seemed. This guy was someone whom I met during our part-time work in Hampden, Glasgow's national stadium, the place where the Jon Bon Jovi concert was held. It was thanks to him that I managed to come home at 1am instead of the expected-3am. At the end of the concert, we left together with the dispersed crowd who formed the 1.5km-long queue to the train station. HELL! THERE WAS NO WAY I'M GOING TO WAIT THERE WITH THE GLASGOW RAIN AND WIND!

It so happened that he claims that he attends the college around that area, which has an exit that connects directly to the train station. i.e. he suggested that we take that route that cuts through the college in order to skip the queue. I went along with that suggestion.

So this was what happpened:-

#1: We casually went passed the 1.5km queue.


#2: We came to a dark alley.

Ain't real copy: This is the closest google-image that I can come up with to illustrate the scene.

#3: I slowed down with hesitance.


#4: He, who was holding my umbrella back then, saw my disbelief at the sight of the dark alley.


He then said: "Whoa whoa whoa... I'm not like what you think.. Not me Not me! Don't worry". So the truth was that nothing happened, and we happily cut the 3hr queue.


In the train, he mentioned that he'll be spending the night in the open as the earliest train back to his place is at 6am. So I said, "perhaps..... I...... can do something about it." He immediately looked up as if there was a ray of hope. How could I possible turn him down?


So there you go. I knew it was only Li Ping in the birbeck flat yesterday night, and I brought him there just for a few hours of shelter. I even brought him to Tesco Metro so that he can buy something to eat before bedtime.


Indeed he was a nice guy. But can you imagine if something really were to happen? I think I would be the headlines of THE STAR:


"Brilliant, gorgeous, kind, articulate, outstanding pharmacy-graduate in Glasgow, Scotland was so stupid to have allowed a stranger to lead her into through a dark-alley followed by the invitation into her flat. It is such a pity that she studied so much yet is so naive and stupid. Might as well donate the money to charity or to buy a property, right?"



And if you've noticed, I've been using "him" all the while, as I only knew his name when we were in Tesco Metro. His name is Phillip. Here's a representation of him:- I'm using Hugh Grant as my "standard" since they're both from the same continent: UK.


Yeah larh I know might as well don't use that picture at all right?? Yeah larh what was I thinking? Kononnya smart and beautiful (that one add my self one larh).






























LIPING am here to the rescue!

As promised, I told LiPing that I'm going to help to advertise her new bloggie at www.pingpogz.wordpress.com instead of the usual blogspot.com

Poor girl, some cis belaka hacker made her old bloggie to a viagra-advertisement site larh.

p/s: it's quite entertaining though

Saturday 21 June 2008

5th day: ah mah's burial

Sorry larh I know I've been really EMO these days. Little that I knew that even my Bodyshop makeup kits couldn't mask my mixed-emotions for Ah Mah, as shown by the pictures during our graduation ball, about 4 days ago.

(celaka punya Wai Meng)
Wai Meng: Dear, yea you look pretty in the red dress. But I can see that you look like you're very sad and tired, and you look like something is missing as compared to your other friends oh...

Phuay Fhern: Yeah larh, WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM ME?? My Ah Mah passed away one day before Graduation Ball ok???!!! Haiyah I should have just cut and paste my whole face.

Today is her burial day, and should be my last vegetarian day. I dare not call home as I should be expecting lots of break-downs on hearing my voice. So, I choose to call only on tomorrow, where the reality would have sunk in by then. By tomorrow, Ah Mah would be physically gone from our family, for good. By tomorrow, our Muar house will never feel the same again.

On a typical morning when we're back in Muar, our morning would be awaken by the aroma of both the brewed local-coffee (Aik Seng) and Ah Mah's fried rice, which permeates the entire house. Ah Mah will then nag me for using the tap-water as if my dad owns Indah-Water.

Ah Mah (in hokkien): Haiyoh, close the tap larh when you're brushing teeth. Open the tap later only later when you need it.

Ah Mah would also religiously patronise an old family bakery behind our house which produces good, soft and THICK (ask Gardenia to fly-kite larh!) white-loafs. I remember Daddie claiming that no one does fried-rice like Ah Mah, which will routinely be followed by a glaring stare by Mommie. As for me, no one does meals like Ah Mah. Family times in Muar is always heart-warming. I was so into our family warmth that I asked Ah Mah which brand of rice she used, such that I tend to eat so much whenever I'm back in Muar. Yet even when my family uses the same brand of rice in Kuala Lumpur, there was something missing in the taste of our dinners. Could it be the water? Could it be the smaller rice-cooker that we're using?

I finally found the answer. It was the family kinship that is exceptionally strong especially everyone is back for gathering in Muar.

I miss you Ah Mah. I really Do. You should be already buried beside Ah Gong now. I'm still praying for you. Today, I'll let go of my mourning for you as I know you're now in a better place, and I continue praying for your safe journey.

I love you, always.

Thursday 19 June 2008

3rd Day: Granny I miss u

Today is the 3rd day of my vegetarian-fulfillment to bring me closer to God, so that he answers to my prayers for Ah Mah's journey to heaven.

Yeah I know. I used to have the image of being a highly-adaptable omnivore because I eat practically everything edible (except frogs in which the Chinese people adores... and internal organs larh) in V.O.L.U.M.E!! Let's see, this is me below:-


Since I wasn't able to attend Ah Mah's funeral, I figured that this was the least I could do judging from how non-religious I am. I'm the type of budak-celaka who only prays to God when I last-minutely finished flipping through my module notes only 2 hours before exams. That's the time I'll start to communicate with Him. Sometime I doubt he hears me.

Phuay Fhern: Dear God Dear God. Please hear my prayers. Please let me sail through the questions in BioPharm/ CPP/ FMT/ PharmCare/ Advanved Drug Discovery/Drug Delivery system/ VIVA interview bla bla bla. I'll promise to be good to my parents, family, Wai Meng, and all my loved ones. I'll promise to change my temper. I'll promise to eat less. I'll be a good person. I'll even pity the beggars on the street. Thank you god.

(on good Days) God: Ok larh. I'll grant your wish.

That's when I get surprisingly flying colours in exams where my brother will say that I'm such a lucky as*h**e. Hey I had that for 70% of the semesters in the entire course ok? No cheating one!

(on normal Days when God realised that I'm a lousy-follower) God: ............ (he dun wan to peduli me!)

That's when I get what I truly deserved for being such last-minute student.

But God, I'm now sincerely praying to you here to guide my Ah Mah's journey to heaven.

Phuay Fhern: Dear God. Please hear my most sincere prayers for my beloved deceased Ah Mah. I'm not able to be with her during the most unbearable moments of her live. I will understand that it was Your mercy which relieved her from the pain and complications due to her septicaemia. All I ask from you, is to make her journey to heaven and reunion with my grandfather, as easy as possible. God, please lead her for she's new to Your place. God, please let her have the peace of mind to stay with you and my Grandpa. God, please bless my Ah Mah's afterlife so that she stays painless and happy. I hope you hear my prayers. Thank you.

This is all I can do as I'm not familiar with any rituals at all, and added by the fact that I'm thousands of miles away from the prayers ceremony in Muar, Johor. As such, I'll continue being a vegetarian and praying to You til the day of her burial on Saturday.

I love you, Ah Mah. Rest in peace.

Wednesday 18 June 2008

Ah mah, rest in peace.

3 weeks ago, I received the news that my grandma, whom I call "ah Mah", suffered from septicaemia was admitted to ICU. I broke down, knowing her chances.

At that time, I was traumatized mostly due to my knowledge in this condition. If I was told about this before my finals, all I knew about septicaemia was that you'll need gentamicin followed by the requirement for gentamicin-monitoring. But this was after my finals, (which proves that I studied!) ....... All I could wish for was that the facts that I studied on the textbook have much room for exceptions.

At that time, I wished that Ah Mah could prove my knowledge wrong. At that time, I hoped that Ah Mah could beat the odds and laugh about this incident when she's recovered. At that time, I hoped that my knowledge was a consequence of exaggeration in Western-medicine.

She fought her way through, proven by her 3weeks unconcious-state in the ICU. Finally she woke up for 1 day, and passed away on the following day. On the day of awakening, she responded to all her children and grandchildren. When she saw the number of supporting machines attached to her frail body and the distressed-states her children were in, she shed tears. She was crying as she knew this had been a heavy burden to all her loved ones, both physically and emotionally. She was crying because she, as well, is clueless about the journey of the battle. She was crying because she was feeling weak and helpless.

She was fighting all the way to her last moments, as she still vomited blood before her passing away. It was Malaysian time 1am, when I was out celebrating Xinyin's birthday at UK time 6pm. When I received my brother's offline message for me at my time 10pm, I broke down and only 2 things were in my mind:-

#1: she didn't wait for me.
#2: I didn't manage to see her for the last time.

When I called dad, he was still very composed. The first thing that I said to him was:-
"Dad, I'm very sorry for not being able to accompany her through the battle"

Daddie was silent, and I could feel him holding back. I wished I was there to comfort him or just to give him my presence. He's always been the support of the family. I assured my parents that I would understand if they cannot make it to my graduation, but daddie insisted that he wants to strike a balance between his love for his mother and daughter. Thanks daddie.

Finally ah mah has decided to go back to the arms of my grandpa whom I call Ah Gong, and God. She has led a good life as compared to Ah Gong. But, if only she was given another 5 years.....

She has always been the reason behind the strong family bond that we all shared. Whenever she comes to KL from Muar, 8 huge families will gather together for both days of the weekend. We'll update each other on our lifes, do catching ups, cook together, eat and laugh, sometimes Uncle Kenneth would randomly contribute his whisky collection and that would be followed by us going CUCKOO.. while Ah Mah will always be sitting there gazing and laughing at our silly acts when we were drunk/high.... These are typical activities in Law family gatherings, which takes place about 6-7 times yearly.

I remember every year's 2nd-day of CNY, where ah mah celebrates her birthday. On normal occasions, all aunts and nieces would start to get ready, together at 3pm and we'll set off to the restaurant for dinner at 7.30pm. Since 5 years ago, Ah mah had been joining our "barbie-doll sessions" too! She asked for her brows to be plucked, and finger nails to be buffed. Haha. In year 2006, we decided to cook in instead. It was quite a hassle, but nevertheless, had been one of her memorable birthdays. Dad was in charged of the steamed fish; aunt lydia's was the gula-melaka prawn; aunt jasmine's was the 8-treasure duck; ah goh's was the fried vegetables; mom's was the fried mee hoon; aunt jessica's was the braised sea cucumber, etc etc etc.

Official family pic.

Unofficial family pic.

She's always considerate and thoughtful. How folly of us to be feeling annoyed by her advices, which at that time seemed like nagging to us. How silly of us to be disagreeing with her mentality? How naive of us to be coming up our own "scientific" arguement to ignore her caring reminders?

They say, "when you can't beat them, join them". Coming from a fun family, my conservative ah mah was often being dragged into chaotic scenes. I remember back from our family trip to Kukub, a small fishing village in Johor in year 2006. Poor ah mah.. hehe.

We shop, she also shops....


After the sinful barbeque dinner, the ladies all suggested to walk walk around. So, we ended up walking around the whole village and even syok-syok sendiri with the tripod to take our night-pics.... kononnya we'll look slimmer this way~~ So we S.S. (syok sendiri), ah mah also S.S.


We go crazy, ah mah also go crazy. Kaka. She must be wondering: "did I produce these off springs? Or did I ter-kutip them from the hospital?"



I'll always remember you Ah mah. I love you very much. You'll always be in my mind. You were a part of me, and always will. Bye. I trust you should be with ah gong right now.

In memory: my Ah Mah.